Unwanted Online Adult Content and Pornography – We Can Take Control

Has it happened to you? Have you been online browsing, perhaps doing research, and you mistype a URL (you thought you had the correct website) and suddenly, up pops an adult site, which you have no desire to see. Perhaps it gets worse, and you get more and more and more…and you effectively lose control of your machine until you reboot. Annoying at best…and it could be worse…perhaps you had to reboot and you lost important work.

Has this happened to your child while doing homework? Nine out of ten children between the ages of 8 and 16 have been exposed to online pornography, and most of the time it happened by accident while they were doing work for school. How bad is that?

The average age of first internet exposure to pornography is 11 years old. Last year 28% of all youth Internet users reported unwanted exposure to online pornography.

In 2006, three years ago, US revenue from Internet pornography was $2.8B. That is a lot of pornography online. There are over 80,000,000 web pages with pornographic images and there are new sites appearing daily.

It is not just the accidental views that create a problem, and it is not just a problem for children.

10% of adults admit to Internet sexual addiction. 47% of families say that pornography is an issue in their homes. Two thirds of divorce lawyers say that excessive interest in online pornography played a significant role in divorces.

These are not problems that we are helpless to prevent or to protect ourselves against. We have greater choice than internet or no internet. We have the ability to take charge and to bring ourselves a G-Rated internet experience.

There are three primary mechanisms for obtaining a G-Rated internet: physical, legal and mechanical.

The physical solution is simply to ensure that computer usage takes place in a public location. Keep computers in family areas at home and not in private rooms. Use your computer where others can see, at least peripherally what you are doing. This does not prevent the accidental stumbling on of unwanted sites, but it helps to prevent the temptation to “just take a quick peak” at some questionable site. It keeps children from playing where they should not.

The legal solution is to diligently report unwanted sites and online experiences. Report them to your ISP. Report them to the local authorities. Most police organizations and certainly the FBI diligently track and prosecute those who abuse the internet by forcing unwanted adult content down our throats.

The mechanical approach is not really mechanical at all…it involves using software solutions to prevent the unwanted content, the pornography, from appearing. There are many solutions which monitor chat, text messages, email, etc. These can detect and even block inappropriate online conversations, alert parents or other adults to potentially hazardous online situations and help to prevent long term damage to reputations.

Detecting inappropriate images is more complex. There are not many solutions out there, fewer than fifteen, and mostly they don’t really work all that well. There are two fundamental problems:

1) True image analysis is very complex and requires substantial compute power, more than your PC or laptop;

2) Sites often have dynamic content so what a site that was fine one day may be inappropriate the next.

Most solutions rely on URL name white and black lists to keep “bad” sites from showing up. These can certainly help, but they cannot address the dynamic content problem, and new sites are coming along so often that the black and white lists are always out of date. Some products claim to do true image analysis based on skin tones and colors entirely on your laptop or desktop. True, accurate image analysis is complex and requires significant compute power as well as continual tuning and updating. The average laptop or desktop cannot provide compute power to execute true and accurate image analysis.

You can take control of your internet experience. Using tools like those mentioned here, or which have similar capabilities, can provide you with a G-Rated internet experience. When the tools fail, report those failures to the vendors, and report the sites to your ISP and to the authorities. Use common sense when using and placing your computer. By combining these three approaches, you can go back to have enjoyable internet experiences despite the proliferation of unwanted adult content and pornography online.

Launched in 2009 in cooperation with Milabra and based on their proprietary analytic technology, Online Chaperone believes that families have the absolute right to have a G-Rated internet experience in their homes, that they have the right to know with certainty that no one in the family need to be exposed to unwanted images, adult content or pornography and that the Internet is intended to be fun, safe and clean, and that it should encourage learning and socializing without exposing innocent eyes to unwelcome pictures. Online Chaperone offers URL, image and text analysis products.

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Keep Away Pornography From Homes

With the advent of the internet, there is much unwanted adult content and pornography. These materials have grave negative implications for children, parents, spouses, and the family at large. Previously, matters of sex were relegated to the bedroom and brothels. People shied away from discussing or displaying sexual passion in public. Today, unwanted adult content is readily accessible, even through mobile phones.

Society should be apprehensive when unwanted online adult content and pornography falls into the hands of children. While it is a fact that children will, at one stage in their lives, come to comprehend sex, it is the nature and age of orientation that are perturbing. Sex is pleasurable and addictive to some extent. However, this is not what we desire for human beings in their formative years to embrace. Every person undergoes a systematic developmental process and sex has its moment, which is definitely not childhood. We need to allow children to enjoy their innocence, and to grow naturally into adulthood.

Unwanted online adult content and pornography may appear to the casual eye as being beneficial to couples, but that is far from the reality. It is factual that couples can learn several techniques on how to give one another pleasure when having sexual intercourse, after they watch this kind of content. However, adult material is likely to foment discontent in marriages or relationships since either or both of the partners may develop unrealistic sexual expectation from the other. It should always be borne in mind that the people portrayed in pornography videos are actually actors, who are trained to exaggerate the acts and effects of sex. Couples trying this at home will only be disillusioned, and may resort to infidelity in search of elusive sexual pleasure. Pornography may destroy marriage instead of building it.

Unwanted online adult content and pornography are also destroying the moral fabric of the society since they defy and negate all the societal and cultural norms that people have learnt to live with. Few people can argue with the notion that religion and society bring order and harmony in a community. Allowing online adult content into our homes is to disorient the manner in which any society operates. Unless such stuff is monitored and restricted, we risk having a society in which the young and the elderly do not respect one another, and where the inviolability of marriage and the honor of the family are disregarded.

 

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Is a Pornography Addiction a Big Deal?

There are many wide ranging views on pornography, not to mention a pornography addiction. Some people view all pornography as an illness while others feel that it’s really nobody’s concern what you view in your own home. In order to meet the standard criteria set forth to qualify as an addiction, one would have to say that if the user can’t go without watching their pornography, there is a problem.

One of the biggest problems with ignoring a pornography addiction is that it can lead to more severe behaviors. It’s not that big of a step from the chronic use of porn to heightening the level of the high by heightening the seriousness of the pornography. This can lead to moving onto sadistic and child pornography and then into things like snuff films. All of these are highly illegal and can certainly be considered immoral even by those who support the use of adult pornography.

Many pornography addicts move toward sexual addiction. While it’s not true for all individuals who are thoroughly addicted to pornography, there is a link between escalating behaviors and escalating pornography preferences.

The chronic use of pornography is not just a men’s disease. There are plenty of women addicts who fly under the radar because they are women. Most people, even some professionals, have a strong gender bias when it comes to women and their use of pornography.

Regardless of where you stand on the issue itself, any behavior that interferes with normal relationships, family time, and work related issues is problematic. Many addicts choose to use the late night hours when the household is asleep before they delve into serious pornography. This allows them privacy. Privacy is the first step to hiding the frequency as well as the content of the pornography of choice.

It can be difficult to recognize the signs when you have a rather open mind on the issue. If you feel there is nothing wrong with watching the material, it may be much harder for you to be able to recognize the symptoms of an actual addiction.

Getting help for an addiction to pornography is vital. This is generally not an addiction that can be handled on one’s own because access is so incredibly easy. It may not seem like it, but to an addict of pornography even suggestive television can prompt urges. It is within everyone’s best interest that an addict receives intervention counseling as soon as possible. The loss of family, friends, and livelihood can depend on how early treatment is sought and accepted.

Pornography As a Turn-On for Fun-Driven Adult Sex

Adventurous couples can buy a pornographic video and watch it together. That is generally a surefire way to end up in bed. In fact, it is usually when couples are in bed that they watch such films. And if the film is a good one they will enjoy being turned on as they watch it. Many couples find that the provocative content stimulates them to duplicate what is being viewed. They are impulsively driven to touch each other, kid around, mimic the sex acts, and swing from the imagined chandelier as they tickle each other’s fancy.

In many countries in the world, including most industrialized ones, pornography is not banned or hidden from view. For example, at King’s Cross district in Sydney, Australia a section of the city is designated to show and sell pornography Sex oriented videos, DVDs, books, sex toys, lubricants, assumed aphrodisiacs, are sold in kiosks and stores. Strip clubs, restaurants, massage parlors and other clubs are available to meet members of the opposite sex.

In Europe, in many countries, and cities pornography is not hidden and thus available for adults. In all the countries there are restrictions to the sale of pornography to children and prosecution of offenders is open and continuous.

In the US pornography is not banned from sale to adults although there is no tolerance on anyone abusing the Child Pornography laws.

But for the purpose of improving the sex life of adults pornography has a place for some. Do you have to be lonely or hard-up to use porn? The answer is No. Porn can be a substitute for sex for many lonely and sex starved adults, mainly men, and for adults without a partner who like visual stimulation for self-arousal.

Finally, let’s examine whether pornography can fit into the armamentarium of the average adult who wishes for increased stimulation for lovemaking. What can porno offer?
As with any movie there is added stimulation by watching real pictures compared to imaging such scenes. Some porno videos actually tell a reasonable story where there is more than just sexual exploitation. So some selection is necessary. Google is a good resource to discover what are considered the best sex videos made in the past few decades.

Beside adding visual stimulation couples can mimic what they see, learn about new positions, empathize with the excitement of the sex partners, imagine participating in the viewed sex, experience sex beyond their own interests, such as gay, bi, S and M, bondage, oral and anal sex, and the use of fetishes. Some show dancing, foreplay that could be stimulating and perhaps above all can act as a stimulus to open the viewers to become freer and lustier about sex.

If you attempt to try out the benefits of sex videos and it is new to you imagine becoming an adventurer and explorer so you don’t take a negative bias into your viewing. An open mind will allow you to gain what might be there for you. At the very worst it won’t have any effect on you and may even turn you off. If so, just chalk it up as another interesting experience.

To determine if pornography may be a stimulus for your personal sex life approach its use openly. It might be a new vehicle for greater enjoyment of sex for occasional use or even frequent use. Remember adults have no restrictions on what they mutually do and prefer behind closed doors. So enjoy the movies and enjoy the sex and know you have taken another step to gaining a new stimulus for sex and love.

by Marvin H. Berenson, M.D. July 12, 2011

To discover new and effective ways to have a wonderful, romantic love life and to become a great lover, my book “Love and Sex” offers frank and wide-reaching information. You will find a truly in-depth look at what actually happens during sex and how to overcome sexual difficulties. By reading this book you can change your love life.

Why Pornography Should Be Introduced and Critiqued In Sex Education Programming At All School Levels

The phrase love that dare not speak it’s name was coined by Lord Alfred Douglas. It first appeared in his poem, “Two Loves,” printed (in the Chameleon) in 1896. It’s a reference to homosexual love, in Lord Alfred’s case, of Oscar Wilde, who was subsequently charged with gross indecency. Homosexuality was a criminal offense in England and just about everywhere else in the 19th century. Today, there is another sexual outlet not so much forbidden as not addressed in polite or other society – a new form of love the name of which sex educators dare not speak: pornography.

This is most unfortunate: a new study suggests that while parents may not be aware of the fact, pornography is the leading sex educator of the young. Alas, the porn industry has no interest in serving a sex education function and certainly does not do so, at least not in a positive, constructive or healthy fashion.

Porn is pervasive, particularly where it is most highly censored. China, for example, is the world’s leading consumer of porn. Jerry Ropelato, author of “Internet Pornography Statistics” at the research website Top Ten Reviews, notes that $3,075.64 is spent on pornography every second of every day. In this one-second period, 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography and 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines. Two of the top twenty search terms are teen sex and teen porn. The pornography industry has larger revenues than Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Apple and Netflix combined. Data from 2006 reported worldwide pornography revenues at $97.06 billion.

Australian researchers David Corlett and Maree Crabbe filmed 140 interviews with young people in what was called “The Reality and Risk Research Project.” They discovered that teens are increasingly turning to the net for sex education. (Source: Denise Ryan, “Teachers urged to address porn factor,” The Australian Age, February 13, 2012.) Porn sex education exerts a destructive influence in the lives of the young. One of the investigators said, “Every young person we interviewed told us that pornography is a significant part of youth culture and particularly of young men’s lives.” She added, “Pornography has become harder, rougher, more hardcore.”

Porn, as you might expect, does not commonly offer instruction in matters relevant to conventional sex education (e.g., the nature of contraception, the prevention of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, the value of intimacy, principles of effective relationships). On the contrary, what it inadvertently communicates to young men, according to “The Project” research group, is reckless, coercive and abusive treatment of women. There is an absence of realistic perspectives and a dearth of respectful treatment of sexual partners. In addition, sexual practices of an unsafe nature are commonplace. While informed adults may have the maturity to manage such depictions, teens with little or, more often, no sexual experience clearly do not.

Since parents usually cannot keep porn from being accessed one way or another or one time or other by their children, the more likely best strategy is to include porn awareness in sex ed instruction. This is the focus of efforts by “The Project” team. Several grants have provided the resources to prepare and test programs for use in training sex education teachers for varied school grade levels. While teachers need skills to address this issue, teens need exposure to effective critiques of pornography’s representations of gender and sex. Among the objectives of the Project team is to develop teaching materials that present diverse scenarios for classroom discussions that will enable young adults to distinguish between what they see depicted in porn and reality.

The overwhelming majority of parents believe their child has never seen pornography. However, a 2003 Australia Institute investigation citied in the Australian Age article cited above reported that 84 per cent of boys and 60 per cent of girls had access to sex sites on the internet. A 2006 Australian study of youths aged 13 to 16 found that 92 per cent of boys and 61 per cent of girls had been exposed to pornography online.

Of course, Republicans in this country might favor a simpler solution: Pass new laws banning pornography or otherwise make it nearly impossible for young people to gain access to it. Given the widespread availability of social media of all kinds in the wired culture of our age, a reliance on censorship does not seem promising (not to dwell on the consistency of such a Draconian tactic with that troublesome First Amendment in America). Good luck cutting off porn – shy of creating a police state. Better sex education is cheaper and quicker, more likely and better suited to personal liberties and sound education.

Everyone, including the young, needs a broad set of knowledge and critical thinking skills to reject a sexuality that eroticises degradation and violence, glorifies unrealistic body types (particularly large breasts and out-sized penises) and undermines relationship elements founded on respect, courtesy and the common decencies.

It is hard enough in the current climate of Right Wing evangelical Republican culture war wedge politics to gain acceptance for sex ed of any kind, let alone adding porn assessment to the mix. If a school board or individual educator in this country tried to address pornography, he or she would be cited by Santorum, Romney or Gingrich as an example of what’s wrong with Obamacare. Try dealing with this crisis only if willing to deal with a firestorm of controversy from the Right.

Yet, all evidence and the lessons from Prohibition and the Comstock era suggest that ignoring or trying to repress the pervasiveness of pornography as it affects youthful sexual expectations and behavior is pernicious and irresponsible.

In my view, we need to make clear as part of sex ed that porn has nothing to do with love. We dare not NOT speak its name – and dare NOT ignore the reality of pornography’s dreadful influence on the sexual miseducation of the young. If this upsets Republicans, well, that’s just too bad. If they had enjoyed better sex education, they might be more sensible about such things – and probably less interested in porn, as well.